Here and There Consulting

Home is where you relax. Or at least, it should be.

I’m not saying grass sucks for everyone. And I’m not saying that grass sucks for you as an individual–I know several people who are really passionate about their lawns, it’s like a hobby for them–but I have always felt there is a better way.

I’m all about simplifying systems, for profit (the $$$) and for the even more valuable resource: time. (Check out the commercial breakdown of potential maintenance benefits here.)

There’s also the fact that if the Great Salt Lake (just north of me) dries up too much, it’ll poison every person, animal, and most of the plants in the valley with toxic dust.

TL; DR: The Utah Average Residential Lawn chugs More Than 391,051 gallons Per Growing Season

My math:

• The average lawn in my region needs to be watered 1″ 2-3 times per week from April to October. Conservative estimate puts that at 56″ cubic inches of water per square inch of lawn, April to October
• Most homes built on 1/3 an acre give or take, or 14,519 sf land-lots (they say the average is 15 acres, but I’m talking about suburban lots, which makes up the majority of Salt Lake County)
• The median house in my Salt Lake County, Utah is 2,317 sf. Most of those homes have basements–but again, conservative estimate for a single-level ranch-style home: 14,519 minus 2,317 for a home, minus 1000 sf for a concrete driveway = 11,202 sf
• 11,202 sf = 1,613,088 square inches
• 1,613,088 square inches of greenery x 56″ of water in a growing season is 90,332,928 cubic inches of water, which is 391,051 gallons

My Tiny Yard Was Using 17,454 gallons and 56 hours of Mowing per summer For a Schist result

(Geology puns, because geology is the best thing about Utah.)

I have a tiny little yard. _Tiny.

It’s maybe 500 square feet of grass, that has never looked good, no matter how much time I spent on it. The math:

• My yard is approximately 500 sf, or 72K square inches
• At 56″ of water per growing season, that’s 4,032,000 cubic inches of water
• Converting that to gallons, that’s a mere 17,454 gallons of water per growing season compared to a more average suburban yard of 391K gallons.

I was spending an HOUR every week just mowing my little tiny yard. (My tiny yard is around 500 sf.)

Not counting time for the following:

• Getting dressed in mowing clothes (I have sensitive skin, so for me, this included several normal and extra steps, below.)
  • A sports bra (I’m not wrecking a nice bra with grass clippings)
  • Sunscreen on my wrists, neck, ankles, and face (I will burst into a cloud of ash if over-exposed to the high-desert sun)
  • Extra long socks
  • My work boots that take a little extra time to lace up
• Putting on outdoor protective gear
  • Gloves
  • Sunhat
  • Sunglasses (I only had one pair, so I’d have to spend an extra couple minutes to put the string thing on them, so they wouldn’t fall off my face)
  • Bandana for the hair (speeds up the showering process)
  • Bandana for the neck (keep in mind, my skin hates grass particulates)
• Getting the lawn prepared
  • (poopin scoopin)
  • Dragging the dumpster closer
  • Starting the heckin mower (may include adding gasoline)
• Weeding the edges where grass wouldn’t grow
  • Edging
• Fertilizing the lawn
  • Buying the fertilizer every season
• Sprinkler maintenance and repair
• Aeration and dethatching
• Showering after the whole ordeal

I’m not outdoorsy–in fact I’m pretty much allergic to nature, but I want to be a good neighbor, and not have a yard that causes problems for others.

I did a bit of research, and tried buying fertilizer, but my grass–which looked okay the first year–never looked nice, despite my efforts. Year 4, my sprinkler system decided to have an emotional breakdown. And by that, I mean that it was weeping gallons in places that it shouldn’t.

Between broken sprinklers, illness, injury, horrific workloads, major loss in my family, etc–my little yard fell into disrepair.

Also, it’s so much more than 56 hours: 112 hours is how long these interruptions to my Saturdays were, AT MINIMUM. Not counting weeding, edging, fertilizing, sprinkler maintenance, lawn mower maintenance, aeration, and dethatching.

“Misha, why did it take you an hour to mow such a tiny backyard?”

I am a small person. This means that I cannot lift a full bag of grass into the dumpster that is almost the same height as me. If I mowed more than a row or two, I’d not be able to lift the grass-clippings bag high enough to empty it.

(Failed) Alternative Lawn Attempts

I think it’s important to acknowledge failed attempts, because this is where we learn things. And maybe I can spare someone else the pain and suffering I endured.

I tried to do research some mow-free lawn alternatives myself but with little success. I landed on two hardy, low-water options. Irish moss for the shady zones, and creeping thyme for the full-sun zones.

My attempts to grow a combination of Irish moss and creeping thyme did not succeed well. I really wanted something green and short.

Simultaneously, a friend of mine was attempting a clover lawn.

• Thyme/Irish moss
  • I messed up the planting timing
  • Didn’t realize SPROUTING THE SEEDS INDOORS was recommended (I could’ve just bought a flat of sprouts)
  • Accidentally got a seed packet of heckin’ chives and planted them before I realized it was too late (does anyone want chives?)
  • Dogs got into the yard
  • Dogs peed on the yard
  • The summer was too hot
  • The section that did succeed is impossible to find dog-poop in (the thyme is too tall) it is now the Unpleasant Surprise Zone.
  • Two summers of trying
• My friend’s clover lawn
  • A ton of water to establish
  • Got weed-sprayed by a “professional” who wouldn’t remedy the situation
  • Tried to re-seed over winter with little success
  • Three summers of trying

Ultimately, both failed.

Yardfarmer.co and her recommendations (that I Gleaned from Her YouTube Channel)

At this time, Daryl from YardFarmer.co crosses my social media accounts. She’s a Utah landscape designer who specializes in lush, native-plant landscapes on a minimal water plan.

Her content really speaks to me because I’ve always hated xeriscape (some people call this zero-scape–incorrect!), because in my region, it’s mostly rocks, with a handful of cactus or other ugly plants.

Daryl’s recommendations are wildflowers, berry-bushes, beautiful lush plant-filled gardens, that use the same (minimal) amount of water as the ugly plants in xeriscaped yards.

She’s a specialist in rainwater harvesting, and creating swales in your yard to hold onto water that would otherwise run into the sewer.

For clients that desire a grassy lawn, her go-to grass is a buffalo prairie grass native to North America. For clients with dogs who will destroy the grass, she recommended Dog Tuff grass from High Country Gardens in Colorado.

Dog Tuff grass seems to be everything I’m looking for:

• Doesn’t need to be mown (can be mown, if you like, as long as it is never mown less than 3″ high)
• Plant in fall to minimize establishment water needs in summer
• Pet urine resistant
• Extremely resilient to foot-and-paw-traffic
• Once established needs to be watered once 1/2″ every 10-14 days
• Can survive being watered once per week (this much water could kill other xeriscape plants) so that I can plant some other plants that need watered once per week (1/2″ of water)
• Grows very well in full sun

Cons:

• Grows poorly in shade
• Needs to be edged at some point (but still probably less than regular grass)
• The process seems to be somewhat undocumented (I couldn’t find a YouTube Video)
• Needs to be planted as plugs (not seed, which is inconvenient)
• More expensive than sod: at this time, it’s about $1.10 per sf, versus sod at $0.46 to $0.85 per sf.

The pros outweigh the cons for me, so I’m taking the risk, and testing out a patch in my backyard–and documenting the process for others.

Check out my Residential YouTube Channel, for updates on the grass and yard situation.

Homeowner Resources Utah

• Utah Pollinator Habitat Program (Free plants, sign up in Feb/March) https://ag.utah.gov/pollinator-habitat-program/how-to-apply/
• https://slowtheflow.org/rebates
• https://www.utahwatersavers.com/
• https://gardenforwildlife.com/

Let me know if there’s a resource I should add here for Utah (or other regions!).